This Is Why...

One of the premier arguments for men against women in the gender war is that we can piss standing up. Nothing too intellectual but then the gender war has never been particularly highbrow.

You just know that every single woman on the planet has wanted the freedom of just whipping out their cock and taking a waz. I think us guys take it for granted but we shouldn't. We have all seen the pathetic spectacle of a woman urinating somewhere other than a toilet when she has been caught short. All bunched up and defenceless. It has ever reminded me of a dog taking a huge shit. You know, the ones where their back legs bow inwards and their whole fucking body shakes. I always expect to see the dog doing the breathing exercise expectant mothers are taught.

The ability and freedom a penis offers for this is a definite plus point but the ladies have boobs. Never has a nickname for a body part described their secondary nature so perfectly than when they are referred to as funbags. Who am I to argue with histories greatest scholars who have eulogised many times on that exact point. I am nothing if not modest.

All this went through my mind today as I got home and ran into the bathroom and then realised that my new jeans were button fly. I did wonder why I hadn't worn a pair of button fly jeans since my teenage years, and me dancing foot to foot as I struggled with a belt and 6 buttons before I could exhale loudly, place my left hand on my waist and tip my head back as I enjoyed the third greatest feeling the human body can offer, told me why. Cumming and sneezing taking the first two places of course.

I shall be purchasing some zip fly jeans as I am not in the business of denying myself one of the gifts given to me by The God Of Being Able To Piss Easily.