Please Look The Other Way, I'm About To Kill Someone

Have you ever hated someone so completely despite the fact that you have never had any interaction with them whatsoever? I have. Frequently. I must also state at this point that whenever I have then come to know these people I find that my instant snap judgements are usually erroneous and they are in fact ok. Doesn't stop me doing this though and it certainly doesn't stop the level of derision within me for them.

There is this one guy I see every day on my way to work. I get the mainline train into one of the main commuter hubs into London and then descend into the underground system to grab a tube into work. Considering that the mainline trains arrive into the station every couple of minutes, and the underground distributes them to all corners of London at least every minute, the chances of seeing the same faces every day are not exactly slim but they're not nailed on either.

When I get down into the underground there is always the same fucking guy standing there. Always. It irks me that I have to look at his fat slab of a face every day. Every fucking day.

This is why I hate him:

1. He wears a brown suit. Never trust a man in a brown suit
2. He reads the same shitty sensationalist newspaper that disguises itself as a more respectable publication every day.
3. He is always 2 bites into the same fucking cereal bar when I arrive. Always.
4. He chews so fucking slowly that I swear he is part cow.
5. He breathes through his nose so loudly that it can be heard in the next carriage.
6. He wears a different shirt every day of the week. Not so bad in itself of course, commendable in fact but does it have to be the same fucking shirt for the same fucking day of the week? Every week?
7. He is bald.
8. He has a fat neck which spills out of the back of his collar forming a little roll of fat that stares at me balefully. Urging me to stab him.
9. He always has this serene look on his face and there is me silently fuming and planning and planning his death in a million different ways.

I could list the things that annoy me about him all day but I must stop or I think I shall go permanently hurt my elderly neighbours, and that wouldn't stand up in court as a defence.

I fucking hate him.