Not my problem

I had a very interesting discussion at work yesterday. It was one of those discussions that eventually enveloped the entire office. A colleague asked me if I genuinely hated anything. I had to really think about it as I wasn't in a comical mood and my usual answer of "pigeons and junkies" didn't seem appropriate. So I told her that the only thing I hated were thick people. She knows I have a very low regard for her as she once read an email I had written where I had mentioned that she was so boring that I would like to stab her in the eye with a pencil. I didn't apologise to her because she had walked over to my desk and seen the email while fucking around on my computer. Her choice and I thought it only prudent to let her suffer the impact of my brutal truth. She offers absolutely nothing to me.

Anyway, she knew I was referring to her with the thick people comment and so attempted to gain support from our co-workers with a look of indignation on her face. Not one other person had the balls to admit I was right. We're not a lolcats office. We used to be but that soon stopped after one colleague of mine found out that I have a great arm over thirty feet with a stapler.

I was completely unrepentant during the discussion and was chuffed to see that the only person who wasn't getting animated was me. I was simply explaining that I found it ridiculously rude of someone to expect me to share my precious time with them if they offer me nothing in the way of entertainment. Why the fuck should I gift you with my presence and gain nothing in return? I'm not asking for cash of course but is it too much to ask for an original thought every now and then? I closed the discussion by stating that if she were on fire, not only would I not piss on her, I wouldn't even give her the steam from my piss. It's mine, fuck off.