Proper jobs

I had the day off work today, I had a big night out last night and thought it prudent to book the next day off. You know how it is, one beer leads to two, leads to 6, leads to a club, leads to swimming in the Thames fully clothed trying to club seals with my shoes whilst attempting a rather inelegant backstroke. Anyway, I digress.

Midday found me pottering in my local high street doing necessary and boring things. I went to the cobbler because I needed to re sole my shoes. I dropped them off and then hit the supermarket for a few essentials. As much as I do not enjoy these tasks, it is far more pleasant to do these kind of things during the week, not too many people about and I can almost bear the normality of it all. I went home after that and did pretty much fuck all and enjoyed it. At about 5pm I made my way back to the cobblers to pick up my shoes (He did a good job and I didn't need to remortgage to get it done which is becoming common these days in London). After I picked them up I made my way back to my flat. On my journey home I pass through a little underpass that takes me under the railway line near my house. Now, as I made my way to the underpass the local station burped out around 30 people who were also making their way home after a hard day at the office. We all made our way down the stairs and into the underpass and were greeted by the sight of a young woman, maybe about 18 who had set up a camera with a tripod slap bang in the middle of the tunnel with her camera pointing at us. This tunnel is about 7 feet wide and her cumbersome tripod and herself (not standing behind but next to it) were taking up maybe 4 foot of space. I was wondering to myself if she was going to move her set up when I noticed she was looking into a view finder and wasn't concerned at all that she was blocking our path . This was rush hour traffic, we wanted home NOW and were pissed off she was in our way all so she could take our shot. She had crusty looking dreads and she was white, so it made it look contrived and pathetic. The fact her clothes looked a little too expensive for her attempt at the new age traveller look, betrayed the fact that she probably took a big fat cheque from daddy every month and gave us bucket loads of sympathy (and irony) for her "perfect angle and lighting". I muttered darkly to myself as I checked my step and got in fucking line to make it through the small gaps either side of her. I was hearing the same from my fellow annoyed cunts. I squeezed past and a couple of steps after I heard an almighty crash. I turned around to see her camera tripod mid flight and the sight of an enraged looking young man of about 25 with an extended leg and a violent look on his face. Obviously the camera hit the wall and made a satisfying crump where it separated into many pieces. The young guy dropped the look of hate and carried on walking as the young photographer burst into tears. None of us annoyed cunts really said too much and carried on down the tunnel.

Now, I feel a little sorry for the young girl but I am of the firm belief that lessons learnt youngest are learnt longest and she won't be doing that again in a hurry so you can all smile now. Everyday is a schoolday when you learn something they say, and never wasted. I have to admit that I did smile.

I read the other day that there are 3 times the number of students studying photography in the UK right now than are needed in the whole of Western Europe. These people will not be able to pay the bills when they grow up and being broke and not being able to feed yourself is no joke. I am a little worried for these guys in later life. Kicked cameras generate no income, and due to the fact that they are unlikely to be able to find the work to pay to fix their kicked cameras they will be forced to ditch the whole idea and find a PROPER job. In this way we can stop a whole generation from poverty. We are helping them by doing this. It hurts us as much as it hurts them (bruised toes are also no joke) but this is tough love and I am Cupid.

Save the UK from becoming a real life Flikr. Save us from being swamped by pictures of droplets hanging off a leaf reflecting a frogs cock at sunrise absofuckinglutely everywhere we look.

Do it because you love them. oh, and you don't need to be in the UK to do this either.

Kick a camera, save a life