Must. Stop. Smoking.

Fuck, I must stop smoking weed. Seriously, it is giving me wicked mood swings.

I've put myself about a bit in my time where drugs are concerned. I don't pretend to be an expert but I do know what I am talking about. I have experienced all kinds of fucked up, most good but some bad. There are many kinds that will kick you in the face within minutes of ingestion. There are many that take half an hour plus to kick in. Then there is weed or hash. No matter how much you smoke or eat, the very worse that will happen to you is that you will eat bullshit and instant food and then pass out. I remember reading somewhere that you would need to eat a lump the size of a large loaf of bread before you put yourself in serious danger.

Having said all that, there have been several times I have been at my wits end with drugs and all but one have been with hash. This stuff creeps up on you before you know what is happening and then twats you round the head so hard your teeth rattle.

An example. I am sitting on the train on the way home this evening. I have done fuck all real work today and have spent the last two hours drinking and laughing and I haven't put my hand in my pocket once. All very jolly. I am reading my book and minding my own business, thinking about what I am going to do on my four days off I have on front of me when a guy and his two friends walk past and sit in the seats around me. This guy seems happy and so do his friends. I can't hear what they are talking about as I have my earphones in. This guy gently brushes past me and ever so slightly bumps the book that is in my hand. In a fucking instant I am transformed into a fucking inhabitant from the seventh level of hell. My relaxed and wistful state of mind is now seriously considering ripping out this guys eyes and swallowing them whole. All for the crime of walking past me. This happened maybe 50 minutes ago and I am still a little grumpy. Not half as bad as I was 45 minutes ago but still.

I really have to stop smoking.